We've solved all of our problems!

Don't let just anyone see our books! If we keep it to just certain people, then there's no way that they can tell us our stuff sucks. Like...our sister. Or our mom. They always tell us that everything we do is great, how else would we have such an inflated sense of our talent? If we only sell our books to people who sign an agreement stating they won't tell us it sucks, and they agree to buy the book sight unseen, and they promise not to talk about our book with other people then the whole thing will be ironclad! Like, as if one of our vampires pissed all over them and covered them in iron so they're totally like "Ewww!" and "I'm covered in iron piss!" at the same time. It's such a brilliant idea, it'll totally help us keep out the Trolls and prevent us from hearing anything that makes us feel bad!