Broccoli Sourcebook

We have finished with our new Broccoli sourcebook for our groundbreaking game for our P.H.L.E.G.M. system, as part of the Vampyre: Not Quite Dead Yet line. If you have ever wanted to experience the horror and despair of this mysterious - some would say "Satanic" (especially 7-year olds) vampiric vegetable - please buy this book now! It gives options for both steamed and raw broccoli. It also contains darkness, and mature themes, and is edgy and stuff, but in a 90s way because that's when I stopped maturing emotionally. Everyone will think you're cool if they see you riding the bus reading it. They might even ask, "Who are you?". If they do, be careful because they might be another one of our fans. Seriously, be careful. Several may be on parole.

You could look at the demo of Broccoli to see how meticulously researched and historically accurate this book is. But you can't. We had to take down the demo so that we could make some changes. Actually, we're not making any changes at all. Somebody pointed out that we had taken almost all of our artwork from The Food Channel, and we wanted to hide the evidence. Our understanding is that once you remove something from the Internet, it is gone forever and no one can ever find it. Like that bowl of veggies I stuck under the refrigerator when I was five years old. Mom never found it. She actually sold the house, so there's no way she'll ever know now. Anyway, if you want to see it you'll need to buy it. Just do it before next Thursday, because then we'll actually have the sourcebook done, and you'll have to buy it again to get the corrected copy. You don't know how hard it is to copy...I mean write 200 pages in three days. Someone told me that's actually not possible for a book of the quality we produce, and I kind of agree but then I had to ban him for trolling.

Speaking of which, I would like to remind our fans and other curious people that we do not tolerate Trolling. It infringes on a trademark that we have registered and just generally upsets us. By "us", I mean "me" - Mikayhl Lhyakim. I also resent anyone referring to my name as an almost palindrome - it is a perfect palindrome. Perfect like our products. I have, like, 1 or 2 people on Facebook that aren't my mom and sister that tell me there's nothing wrong with the twelve books we have yet to actually show the world, and I shouldn't listen to anybody when they talk about my stuff. Except then I wouldn't listen to those 1 or 2 people, and since there's no books I'm not sure what I would be ignoring anyway. I'm very confused now. I think I'll go have a Faygo and listen to ICP.